couples counseling
Relationships don’t get stronger by accident.
Probably everyone should make their way into couples therapy at some point. People are too complex and the modern romantic relationship requires too much of us to not need help in this grand adventure of connection.
Dating? Counseling early on can help you avoid years of painful dynamics. Engaged? Now is the time to have some conversations about expectations and assumptions. Married? Whether it’s a tune up or a protracted conflict that doesn’t seem to go away, working with a professional can save a lot of time and heartache.
Common issues:
Communication Issues
Conflict Resolution (especially that fight you keep having over and over, that never seems to totally resolve)
Sex
Navigating in-laws and family boundaries
Life stage adjustments (think: new baby, relocation, kids developmental phase changes, empty nesting, retirement, etc)
Decisions about staying together or breaking up
Questions I hear a lot:
What if my partner doesn’t want to come?
Couples therapy requires both partners to attend every session. If you need a referral to an individual therapist, let me know!
I’m not sure it’s that bad, do I seriously need to talk to a stranger about it?
Nope. In fact, my personal philosophy is that given enough time, patience, and intention, most people can work through most issues on their own. AND. Most couples in today’s world don’t have the amount of time and patience it would take to shift their dynamic before they hurt each other. The earlier you come in, the less time it takes to graduate.
Also? Things don’t need to be “bad” to go to therapy. Often clients have the best experience when they are able to talk through things before it gets dicey.
How long will this take?
I can’t actually predict the future, but what I can say is that the longer something has been an issue, the longer it takes to heal and resolve it. If you’ve been stuck in an unhelpful dynamic for 20 years, you’re probably going to be meeting with me for longer than if you’re 23 and newly engaged. Make sense? But the goal is always to work myself out of a job. Therapy is too financially and emotionally expensive to invest in indefinitely and success looks like you being able to do it on your own.
Do we have to meet every week?
Initially yes. New couples need to attend six sessions at a weekly rhythm before we decide together on a sustainable pace moving forward.
Are you going to tell us what to do?
Mostly no. You’ll might have some homework outside of sessions and I’ll have some ground rules for how you treat each other in session, but there really is no one right way to be in a relationship. My job is to help the two of you figure out what works best for you.